The Alabama Chainsaw Massacre
You're cooking in your skin, but the man you love is too so you get over it. The heat will get less hot each year the more you learn what it means, but right now you know nothing and neither does he. What does water even taste like? Sweat?
I can't wait to get out of here.
One more bead of sweat.
PleaseWhat do you have planned for when we're finally through?Who knows. I guess the world's my oyster right?
One more bead of sweat.
PleasepleasepleasepleaI'm excited to go but I'm worried about leaving behind all the things I actually enjoy.Shit, I'm sure you're gonna meet plenty of awesome people. It probably won't be long until you forget all this stuff anyway.
One more bead of sweat. Wait, are you crying?
Can I ask you something?
What's up?
What if I don't? Like, what if I've already met the best people I'll ever meet? I mean, what you said earlier, it's relying on some real grass-is-always-greener type thinking isn't it? It's like an assumption I've needed to keep myself going until very recently, but now that I've met you I think that this here honestly could be the "meeting awesome people" in question after all, and what if when I leave I realize that I had it all made before I left, but then when I come back everything's different, and I had a good thing but now it's gone because in my hubris I thought I could find something better? And what if I'm messing up by even saying anything right now? Like I feel like we're just supposed to leave and leave and leave and leave and leave and leave and not question it because leaving implies leaving for better places, but that's not necessarily guaranteed, you know? And sometimes it feels like it's all well and good that I question this, but maybe the reason you're not supposed to question it is because if you're the only one not leaving, then that means you've been left. I listen to people talk and it makes me understand that my best bet is to just leave and leave and leave too and pray that one day I'll meet someone else suspicious of just leaving and leaving and leaving and I guess—
I guess just I wanted to ask if you're gonna miss me, when it's all over?...
I don't think I've ever really thought about it like that before. But yeah, of course I'm gonna miss you man.
Right now you know nothing, but he knows one thing. One day, you'll know enough to forget everything. Even the taste of him; even the taste of sweat.